Let’s get menstrually honest
Or at least, menstrually tongue-in-cheek. Not sure how these ads for U by Kotex tampons slipped past my otherwise stoned-catlike-state-of-readiness radar, but they’re fantastic.
BUT FIRST: In my correct opinion, tampon adverts & packaging and toilet paper adverts & packaging are among the two dumbest, most evasive and least apropos-of-the-product’s-benefit (slight pause) marketing directions in today’s puritan American market, period (pun incidental). In other words, neither category’s advertising mentions what the hell they do (prevent blood from staining your pants and running down your leg; remove shit from an asshole, respectively), which is precisely why you’d want to buy them in the first place. Case in point:
UPSHOT: You’re stuck looking for the package with the blue or red or flesh-colored cartoon bear gleefully rubbing toilet paper against his furry bear face—pretty damn far from a human buttock, says I, and pretty damn far from telling me how well this paper removes poop from my butt (unless of course, some human took a dump on that bear’s face and the bear is wiping it off with 2-ply toilet paper—which if so, I’d like a little backstory, please); or some tampon ad shilling lies about how fresh and vibrant you’ll feel in the middle of your crampy, moody period. Why? Because it’s extra-absorbent, you silly idiot.
I think what perturbs me most about it is this: a cartoon bear is not an idea. It’s a polished hunk of bullshit from clients who ask for bullshit (and it is a good Creative Director who convinces them to change their tack). It’s like the Snuggie bear. What does it have to to with the product? Nada, that’s what. Bears have no need for toilet paper or fabric softeners. And they sure as hell ain’t worried about dingleberries or little shards of paper stuck to their marginally-emphasized-yet-oddly-hole-less bums.
But I digress. Whilst these tampon ads (just ahead) by JWT New York don’t go quite so far as to tell you what the product does and why theirs is better, they do shine a light on how blissfully ignorant current tampon ads are—which is a start I’m willing to build on. BONUS: The packaging is not saccharine, and is actually kinda cool— inasmuch as tampon packaging can be cool, of course.