Jason & Punky the Wise
Remember these public service bad boys?
“One to Grow On” was an indelible part of my childhood boob-tube-watching—and apparently my wife’s as well (she was shocked shitless at how perfectly she remembered the intro; shitless, people). It was like an after school special in just over 60 seconds, hosted by an ’80s megastar. They would boldly insert themselves into my ritualistic Saturday morning cartoon-watching regimen, but I didn’t mind. And clearly, I’m a better man for it. I mean, “One to Grow On” is so totally the reason I don’t blare my ghettoblaster in public no more; selfishly snarf up every morsel of food at the dinner table; smoke grody cigarettes; doubt my parents; or even think of succumbing to the intense peer pressure to do harmful narcotics or take the weed.
But looking back on it, how the hell did we accept such godawful acting in the ’80s? Moreover, are these really acceptable life lessons? In my less-than-esteemed estimation, some episodes’ advice actually seem to imperil the children even more.
Was Jason Bateman high when he did this? He seems to be slurring a smidge, and his eyes are a little too narrow for my tastes. Oh, the ironical life of a teenage role model.
Punky, you so crazy. (side note: what a truly awful read of this script this is. Punky’s inflections are in all the wrong places.)
Damn kid, can you say potential cholesterol problem? Such amazing, astute advice, though.
P.S. I love how the adults with overly-adult voices are always offscreen. It’s like some Charlie Brown episode, except their words aren’t quite as compelling as “Wah wonh wonh, wah wonh wonh.”