Beware of living statues

See, even mannequins have to worry about wedgies and cameltoes. I’d imagine it’s uncomfortable enough standing perfectly still for your entire existence. Doing it with panties stuck up your bum must be downright maddening.

You know, it’s poses like these (+ childhood trauma) that probably give rise to psychosexual disorders like agalmatophilia; that is, an unhealthy carnal attraction to statues and mannequins (do not doubt me on this one—it’s DSM-acknowledged, so back off). Not that I condone or sympathize with such behavior, of course.

Whilst the above image would certainly be spank bank material for any sex-starved 13-year-old, an adult who renounces his fleshly desires for animate human beings to have a sustained relationship with a mannequin is just plain fucked in the head.

I’m inclined to think these are the same sketchballs who paint themselves silver from head-to-toe on hot summer days, stand motionless in mildly crowded plazas, sweating profusely for paltry tips from creeped-out kids.

Honestly, why else would you aspire to become a living statue? A masochistic love of swamp ass?

by dint of bennybb

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~ by zactopia on March 1, 2010.

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