South Dakotan sign language

Just returned from a weekend quest driving to and from the Black Hills of South Dakota with my wife and canines. Whilst many hours (6 each way) were spent behind the wheel for a 2-day trip, we managed to accomplish quite a bit, relax, have a hike, have a blast and even pause to rubberneck at bizarre local signage along the way. Here’s a simple random sampling of the latter for your collection:

In your face, animal activists! HA HA HA HA! If animals have problems with our trappers’ methods, then let them speak for themselves, you dumb hippies.

This place works better than straitjackets. In fact, I regained my sanity after just 9 minutes of sitting on a log and staring at pine cones. Besides, straitjackets do NOT fall into the “any old clothes” category.

We ain’t talkin’ about no half-ass cheap western commercial from some podunk town like Puddle City or Ditch City. This here is THE precise place where Hill City’s high cotton western commercial was filmed. Duh.

But what if I don’t want my patriotism enriched? And who the fuck is Barb Heller?

Creepy, but so vivid. And freshly painted to boot. Bet they’ve got prerecorded laugh tracks all over the park. Do kids even know what The Flintstones are anymore?

‘Cause I do. In fact, my Ma tells me that 32 years ago, we camped and frolicked at this very same park whilst driving an RV cross-country with the fam. Of course, I don’t remember shit—but apparently I loved it. I probably shit my diapers, I loved it so much. But that was 32 years ago, when The Flintstones were still quite relevant. Not so much these days…except apparently in South Dakota.

McGas. Piped in straight from the septic tanks of McDonald’s.

Here’s a free fact:  You can never have too many prayer crosses.

Okay, I agree it’s not technically signage, but it might as well be. Saw this image on TV in Lusk, Wyoming in the free continental breakfast room, whilst eating our free continental breakfast (jealous?). What holiday are they talking about? It’s April 17th. Easter’s over, and Christmas is 8 months away.

Um, yeah. (In case you were wondering, that’s my lovely wife sticking out her stomach and acting all preggo and shit [she’s not].)

Beyond what’s obviously wrong here (not with my wife, of course; she’s perfect), that kid’s face gets me every time. Doesn’t his large, shapeless forehead remind you a bit too much of the profile of a pregnant woman’s stomach? Look at the face that way, and it begins to protrude like Quato from Total Recall:

While you digest that image, how about this nifty picture of Mingus the dog through the window of my truck?

Continuing on the topic of trucks, try this picture on:

Not sure how legible it is here (click on image to get a bigger view), but the back of the truck’s cab reads, “NO SNIVELING.” We dodged around this here trucker for several miles to get a shot of another sign, this one on his cab window:Bobbleheaded, pug-based threat on 18-wheeler’s cab = pinnacle of manliness.

Let me get this straight:  the combined addresses of two couples who live in different locations is -6? How innovative and completely illogical. I like it.

Yes, I am in 5th grade. And yes, this is still damn funny.

Not sure what those red marks are. They do spell N-T-D in Morse Code, but I’m still at a loss. Perhaps they were put on by some no good, meddling kids with a 5th grade sense of humor (and a rather lousy grasp of Morse Code).

So there you have it. Denver, CO to Custer, SD and back again, in signs.

~ by zactopia on April 18, 2010.

One Response to “South Dakotan sign language”

  1. […] to mi amigo Paul Gunnarson for digitally capturing this beaut in the fertile crescent of all signage, South Dakota, and allowing me to purloin it off his posterous page. Well observed, sir. Advertisement […]

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