PowerPointless

THAT:  First but not foremost, please excuse the hideous hiatus from my previous entry to the present entry. I’ve been on a bender, you see, in the sinfully delicious armpit of New Orleans. For a friend’s bachelor party and Jazzfest. And I’m only now beginning to emerge from my retard cloud and regain some semblance of clarity. I hope we can still be friends. If not, suck it. If so, read on.

THIS:  So this here PowerPoint slide is the US military’s most recent stab at making sense of American and NATO forces’ strategy in Afghanistan:

(click to embiggen and enhance befuddlement)

So much for making sense. Truly, this shit-spray of an infographic is the most confusing chart in the history of logic. Beyond unintelligible. Nauseating to look at. And apparently, it’s not a joke. According to the New York Times and some really high-ranking officers in the US Armed Forces, PowerPoint mayhem is one of the many clusterfucks the military specializes in making commonplace.

In fact, the US military abuses PowerPoint like the Catholic church abuses prepubescent boys. Junior officers are regularly referred to as “PowerPoint Rangers,” because that’s all they EVER do. And to be fair, let’s not relegate such mind-numbing tedium to just junior officers. Writes the NY Times, “When a military website, Company Command, asked an Army platoon leader in Iraq, Lt. Sam Nuxoll, how he spent most of his time, he responded, ‘Making PowerPoint slides.’ When pressed, he said he was serious.”

How astronomically unproductive. You’d think with a yearly fiscal budget of nearly $700 billion and access to the most advanced technology on the planet, the US Department of Defense could invent a strategic presentation program to make Microsoft PowerPoint look like a Fisher-Price ViewMaster. But you’d be shamefully wrong.

Soul-slaying PowerPoint presentations are so infested in the everyday workings of the US military that top brass Brigadier General H. R. McMaster actually regards PowerPoint as a legitimate, self-destructive internal threat to our armed forces.

The good news:  The US Dept. of Defense thinks all this PowerPointlessness is a load of incomprehensible bullshit, too.

The bad news:  They’re not at all willing to do shit about it. Sweet.

by dint of NY Times

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~ by zactopia on April 27, 2010.

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