But what about marriages that thrive on dutch ovens?

In theory, this product is brilliant. In practice, I’m not so sure. Either way, the technology is wonderful, farts never stop being funny and the name is priceless, so watch this:

Before I delve briefly into the reason why I think the Better Marriage Blanket is a better idea than product, did anyone else notice how the husband sleeps on the right side of the bed in the beginning, but then switches to the left side for the remainder of the commercial? What the fuck is that about? When you live together, you establish and become fiercely territorial of your side of the bed—and that’s the way it stays. End of discussion. What kind of marriage switches sides of the bed on a whim? A poorly-casted, poorly-directed, total bullshit kind of a marriage, that’s what.

Now we proceed to the blanket itself…

Let’s be honest, how often do you actually wake up from your significant other’s farts? I’ll bet not very often. Sure, the stench may infiltrate your dreams and lead to REM-induced visions of being swallowed by a technicolor fog of shit—but I seriously doubt many marriages meet their doom from excessive shit cloud nightmares.

A sound-absorbing blanket, on the other hand, now that would be something worthy of a check or money order. Snoring can be lethal to a marriage. It wakes you up, keeps you up and stops being cute in a hurry.

Personally, I think this smell-eradicating material would be infinitely more useful in the waking hours. So I’m holding out for the pants version.

by dint of the Egotist


~ by zactopia on April 30, 2010.

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