Wide-angle memories

At first glance, without knowing why it was brought into this world, I briefly loathed the Vicon Revue. According to the Viconian nerds who invented it, Vicon Revue is a “wearable digital camera designed to take photos passively without intervention whilst being worn by the user.”

Kinda makes you vomit a little in your mouth, don’t it? Just what we need. Another machine to further intrude upon and replace our thoughts and memory with digital technology. At this point, I’m thinking Vicon’s tagline should be, “Why pay attention?” (but it’s much worse, as you’ll read below) See?

Mesmerizingly banal, isn’t it? Epically underwhelming. Speaking of which, Vicon’s actual tagline is:  “Memories.For.Life.” Wow. Pointless periods for a pointless product. Schmaltzy and pathetic, no matter how you punctuate it. “For.” does not work, will never work, and should actually be a caneable grammatical offense. The copywriter responsible should be punched in the back of the head, if he/she hasn’t already become a cutter, just to feel something.

(want more photomontages? As you wish, sucker)

Angered but intrigued, I then read: “Based on Microsoft SenseCam technology, Revue is a research tool aimed at medical researchers as an aid for people with memory loss.”

Shazzam! Now I love Big Brother.

After reading that statement, I’m all like, “Shit Zac, that’s actually pretty cool.” Because losing your memory must truly suck. What a terribly unfair affliction. And even more tragic that it happens at an age when you must have so many memories to share.

So now I like the Vicon Revue quite a bit.

I champion its use to combat memory loss. Of course, sales would surge if they marketed it to college kids, alcoholics, marijuana dispensaries and the blackout-prone. Just sayin’…

But I must admit, Sir Iain Tait summed up the Vicon Revue rather aptly with these words: “Memento would have been a shit film if this had been around.”

by dint of crackunit


~ by zactopia on May 31, 2010.

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