Maradona, heterosexual and toilet aficionado

Diego Maradona. Soccer immortal. Head coach of Argentina’s World Cup 2010 squad. Toilet seat diva. Not gay.

Let’s start with his masculinity. Call the question poorly translated, but Maradona wants his straightness unquestioned in any language—no matter how demonstrative he may appear on the pitch.

His horror as the question unfolds, however, is worthy of bronzing:

Then there’s his prima donna crapping habits. Prior to the World Cup, each country put in special requests for their accommodations. The Argentine Football Association’s (AFA) requests began simply:  all rooms were to be painted white, and 6 PlayStations were required for the players. Then came the food requests, including among others, 10 hot dishes a day; 14 different salads for every meal (roughage = victory, but don’t be surprised if Lionel Messi shits himself involuntarily during a goal celebration); at least 3 puddings with every meal; and ice cream available all day.

And then came the toilets. Accommodations had to work overtime to replace the standard sinks and toilets in the 2 loos reserved for Maradona with the self-proclaimed “world’s best toilet seat,” the Intimist Electronic Bidet:

Order yours HERE. Just 450 bucks (358 euros), and you too can shit like Maradona.


~ by zactopia on June 22, 2010.

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