Motorboat your mouse pad

Let’s just state this up front: I’m not a fan of anime (Japanese animation) or manga (Japanese comic books). Not really sure why, but I just can’t get into them—and I’m totally okay with that. Because there are plenty of people who are, especially Japanese people. In fact, comics account for more than 40% of all books and magazines sold in Japan. 60% of the world’s animation is produced in Japan. It’s their biggest pop culture iconography. Which I can respect. It’s a cultural thing.

Then there’s otaku, which I can’t really respect. Otaku are socially inept, sexually tormented geeks who mostly live with their parents, stare obsessively at anime and manga and video games all day long, and who collectively spend nearly $5 billion a year on comic character products—such as these oppai mouse pads.

Now, the first things you may and should notice, besides the perfectly coordinated pink mouse (which I assure you is no accident), are the bulges at the bottom of the pad. Those are the defining characteristic of oppai mouse pads. Anime and manga girls’ breasts (or other protuberances, as you’ll see) are bulged a bit from the pad to create that realistic breast implant feeling (at least to otaku, most of whom have probably never felt a real flesh or augmented booby before).

Just in case you don’t understand how it works, observe the severed hand below:

Of course, everyone has different tastes. Say manga tits are just a bit too real for you, or perhaps don’t pique your fancy. Don’t fret. Maybe you’re an ass man. Luckily there’s this:

Or, if you have a more-than-friends weakness for, say, imperial soldiers from another galaxy, then there’s this:

And then there’s the truly bizarre, for otaku fetishists:

I wish I could say that I’m flabbergasted by this last one, but I’m really not. I’m more interested in the possessor of the thumb who actually thought spending 75 bucks on this thing was a solid purchase—so much so that he actually posted it online for all to behold. I bet he’s the envy of his chatroom.

~ by zactopia on June 30, 2010.

2 Responses to “Motorboat your mouse pad”

  1. Would you think less of me if I bought the storm-trooper one?

  2. […] prancing about town, posing as the enabler of manliness? What is Jii, a Scientologist? And why is everything in Japan about […]

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