New world indeed
Rode past this moving truck (actually, the truck was stationary, but its purpose was to move heaps of worldly possessions in one fell swoop—you know, for relocation) on my bike this morning. The company is called New World Van Lines, but after surveying the logo plastered on all sides of the truck…
…I became highly suspicious and have since come to the correct and astonishing conclusion that New World Van Lines is a front for a New World Order—a secretive power elite conspiring to rule the world through an authoritarian world government, like the Freemasons, the Illuminati or those pestering Jews.
How did I come to this brilliant conclusion, you ask in earnest? Look at that freakin’ logo. Just another humdrum picture of Earth from space, right? How about WRONG, jacko. Take another gander, and look carefully:
How many continents do you see? I see TWO. North America and South America. That’s all. No Europe, no Asia, no Africa, no Antarctica and definitely no Australia. Where’d they go? Exactly.
New World “Van Lines” has no need for those other bullshit land masses. So goodnight, Europe. Goodnight, Papua New Guinea. Goodnight, Zanzibar. Goodnight, Moon.
Of course, I know what you brainiacs are thinking—”New World” refers to the Americas and the western hemisphere, hence the reason for showing only those continents on their logo. Bull honky, fuckstick. Stop fooling yourself. Let’s look at New World Van Line’s locations. The so-called “company” is based exclusively in the USA. See?
No South America. No Honduras. No Canada. No Galápagos Islands. No Cape Horn. So why call yourself New World if you only service one country? That’s false advertising, just to maintain a stupid name. Only daft people would do that, and New World Van Lines is anything but daft.
No, I’m quite sure New World Van Lines is a front for a cabal of world dominators. Get ready to be enslaved, people—unless you live in Europe, Asia, Africa, Antarctica or Australia. You guys are totally fucked.