It’s not illegal if you’re a chimp
Now this here act of pure bestiality finally debunks the myth of what happens when you kiss (or in this case, bang) a frog on (in) the mouth. No stinkin’ prince. Just a frog with a mouthful of monkey spunk. Good thing it wasn’t a toad, or the Honolulu Zoo might have an outbreak of genital warts with this chimp’s sex-crazed tendencies.
Major props for creativity and kinkiness, chimp. They say crows—more specifically, New Caledonian Crows—are better at creating tools than chimps, but making a sex toy out of a frog mouth? This throws the whole study into question. That’s some genius, desperate-adolescent-boy-level shit there. And one hell of a well-developed limbic system to boot.
Admittedly, my wife doesn’t love this video. She thinks it’s cruelty to frogs. I say it’s nature, babe. Perverted monkeys will be perverted monkeys. And that frog shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Nor does it seem too keen on escaping its fate; in fact, the frog looks remarkably calm throughout the whole fellating episode. I know frogs (not biblically, of course), and I can tell you it ain’t this frog’s first rodeo.
However, if this sort of simian love makes you tingle in the wrong places or bothers you terribly, blame my mortal enemy Daniel. He sent it to me.