Am I the only one who finds this creepy?
Saw this TV spot whilst casually guzzling firewater and watching the college football this past Saturday. Call me hypersensitive, but there’s something remotely creepy and disingenuous about this commercial for the Golf Academy of America. They’re showing golf and talking golf, but I’m not feeling golf. I’m feeling scam city.
It begins like some shoddily made military-type commercial, featuring driving, inspirational stock music and a genetically challenged-looking dude bragging about his tours in the Middle East.
But it’s not a military commercial at all; it’s for a vocational school where, for many thousands of dollars, you too can become something vague in the golf industry. By the looks of it, at the end of the commercial the protagonist Eric Busto (really?) has seemingly reached his golf dreams…of becoming a country club caddy. Which is totally fine, except who needs to go to a hoity-toity golf academy to become that?
Then there’s the fairly odd scene with the male couples sharing computers. That brightly clad bespectacled bloke is so obviously hitting on his monitor partner and outright ignoring his lesson, it’s embarrassing. Come to the Golf Academy of America, a.k.a. Gay Orgy Unlimited. But I suppose it seems like a logical cast. I mean, you have to go after the gay aspiring golf pro demographic—not to mention the strong contingent of dishonorably discharged, golf-obsessed gay ex-marines (not that there’s anything wrong with it, of course).
Moving past that, as a writer, I simply cannot abide the script. It’s total shit. Who writes, “I had a strong level of desire to become involved in the golf industry”? More than that, who approves it? Fucking hacks, that’s who. The script reads like a moron on cocaine. One sentence does not relate to the next, and they all suck.
This Busto punk is grasping for compelling words, but he comes up empty every time he opens his mouth. Military background or not, he’s a goddamn liar—especially when he tells us about the opportunity for jobs in the industry. Hear how his voice cracks and goes up? That’s textbook bullshit right there, people. Then to follow it up with a super that reads, “No guarantee of employment is made or implied”? I’m thoroughly convinced Golf Academy of America is code for charlatan-infested bathhouse (even their acronym is GAA, which when spoken aloud as a single word sounds an awful lot like, you guessed it).
If only they ended with, “This commercial was brought to you by pleated pants. Hiding your obesity for centuries,” then I might be inclined to believe them.