Usain who?

Say hello then goodbye to Joe Hart, the fastest goalkeeper in the history of bipedalism.

RELEVANT CONTEXT:  The game’s in stoppage time, and Hart (the Aryan goalkeeper in the neon green uniform) cheats all the way down the field on a set piece (i.e., a corner kick) to help Manchester City FC (better known as Man City) pull off a last-ditch equalizer goal against Manchester United FC (a.k.a., Man U). Then this transpires:

Holy Road Runner. That dude is like cartoon-fast. However, it looks like Hart has met his match—and on the same pitch, no less. Check out the assistant referee at 0:53 hauling ass down the near-side touch line. I’m making the call right now:  that linesman needs to be drug tested. Anyone that fast should be on the pitch playing, not prancing up and down the touch line doing Nazi salutes with an offside flag. That ref’s doping for sure.

But the part that makes Hart way cooler than the assistant referee is, Hart actually makes a sick save when he gets down to the goal. The ref, on the other hand, really has nothing to do but stand around with coke jaw. Poor guy.


~ by zactopia on November 4, 2010.

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