Heavy petting

Who knew the most egomaniacal diva of them all was a hand jockey? Not this guy.

If you have some semblance of a soul and desperately want to feel less weird than you are, watch this interview with world famous hand supermodel Ellen Sirot forthwith. Her stroking abilities are unparalleled.

Mad props to my archenemy Andy for mining this gem amidst the dreck that is most of the internet—or at least being forwarded it by someone with a clever eye for freaks.

~ by zactopia on December 11, 2010.

One Response to “Heavy petting”

  1. Mock her all you want, but hand models provide an invaluable service to us – they show us things with their hands that we might otherwise have to look at in the absence of hands. If anything, we should be setting up a non-profit organization to aid hand models in the day-to-day life activities that we take for granted like the ability to clean, cook, and turn the pages of a book (in this model’s case, probably a book with lots of pictures and not very many big words). Remember, TP-malfunction-stinkhands and masturbation calluses might be badges of honor in our world, but they can be devastating to a woman who has nothing to offer the world but the beauty of her hands and her ability to talk incessantly about said beauty.

    It is with this in mind that I propose the launch of Lend An Ugly Hand – Providing Hands for Those Who Let Us Look at Theirs. We will have a set of hands in each room of the hand-model’s house. You can either be the kitchen hands, (cook, clean, and take out trash), the bathroom hands (brush teeth, scrub in shower, and wipe ass) or bedroom hands (dress, grope a partner during sex).

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