Aren’t boobs already three-dimensional?

For those unfortunate souls who were neither breastfed nor privy to copping a feel at any point in their sexual history, fret no more.

Thanks to the good people at Continuum Fashion and Shapeways, you too can realize that female breasts—lovely as they are—do in fact protrude visibly from the sternum region. “But how?” you ask. With the latest in breast-displaying technology:  the 3D-printed bikini!

Gawk for yourself, but know this—poking your computer screen will only result in a damaged monitor, and nothing more.

Ladies and gentlemen, four-dimensional breasts:

(who knew boobs could pop out like that?)

Using science, these two breast-covering corporations collaborated to create the first consumer-ready 3D-printed swimsuit EVER. They call this modern marvel the N12 Bikini.

Call me a dumbass, but I find the notion of a 3D bikini redundant. Boobies and buttocks bulge beautifully on their own. That’s enough 3D for me. Plus, if you’re staring at the print of the bikini and not the shapely body beneath it, you’re probably a fan of the penis. Which is totally super. But to herald this product as the “vanguard of consumer fashion” is total poppycock.

Personally, I think 3D is still more annoying gimmick than cutting-edge technological advance. And protuberant hooters will always be a whole lot more aesthetically pleasing than some visual trickeration. Should you choose to disagree, by all means purchase your N12 bikini here.


~ by zactopia on June 7, 2011.

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