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Listen (or rather, read—if you put your ear really, really close to the monitor, you might hear the monitor elves dry humping or burping the alphabet or giving each other Brazilian waxes, but you certainly won’t hear this entry), I get the double-barreled surname thing. I really do.

Maybe you do it for feminist/anti-patriarchal reasons, like Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Or it’s a cultural thing, like Gabriel García Marquez. Perhaps your career depends on keeping your maiden name, like Pamela Anderson-Lee. Or maybe you just like the way it sounds, like John Cougar Mellencamp. I get it.

But there comes a point when common sense must reign supreme. Such is the case with this piece of mail I wrongly received the other day.

Garcia-Garcia? Really? Couldn’t you just simplify it to Johanna H. Garcia? Out of self-respect, if nothing else.

That’s even worse than being named Dick Richards.

Shit, you could even square Garcia with a superscripted 2. As retarded as that might look, it would be a vast improvement from its current form. I even bet your self-esteem would double.

Now let’s move on.

~ by zactopia on September 21, 2011.

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