Hedges weren’t meant to be waxed
There’s a good reason why manscaping and landscaping aren’t synonyms.
Because manscaping your shrubbery doesn’t make it look bigger…
…it just makes it the Mexican hairless dog of domesticated flora. See?
Edward Scissorhands would very likely shit his besuspendered pants if he saw this ham-fisted pruning job.
The only upside of this landscaping travesty: it does make for a damn arresting cross section of a hedge. Like the setting of a horror movie for feral gerbils.